3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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