just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize