My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
