dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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