i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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