it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
