well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize