i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You have to summon your inner elephant
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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