you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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