those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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