is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
