why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
