Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
