He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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