Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
bring money and cleavage
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
