I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
