I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
