as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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