i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
