Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
