Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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