Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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