Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
