it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize