Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
