my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
