It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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