i was born a porn star she said
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
