you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
