Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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