The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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