We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
