Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Randomize
