woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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