Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize