margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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