escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Ladies don't puke and tell
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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