I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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