I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
