Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
