I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
