i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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