Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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