Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
