hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
