Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize