ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
