I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
foreskin is a definite game changer
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
