is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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