I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
