HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
