All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
