I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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