Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize