oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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