Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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