i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
