if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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