Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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