We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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