I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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