I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
