Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize