i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
