no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
