There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You ruined the universe
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
