I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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