Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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