Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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