Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
