you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
