I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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