I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
