I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
